Group Becomes a 'Lifeline' for Mothers of Fallen Soldiers

Kirt Ijams

Veteran’s Day we honor the men and women in uniform and thank them for their service and their sacrifices. Nancy Montoya reports on another group who has also made the ultimate wartime sacrifice – but do it mostly in silence. They are called Gold Star Mothers.

It is an exclusive group that any mother would rather not join. The cost of membership is too great-the loss of a son or daughter to war.

“When children lose their parents, they are called orphans, but when parents lose their children, they’re not called anything," Maria Marin, a Gold Star mother said. "It's like an amputation.”

Marin's son, Staff Sargent Martin Anthony Lugo, an Army Ranger, was 24 years old when he was killed in Afghanistan. She says, at first, there was nothing that could comfort her, the sorrow was too deep.

Then she heard of a group called the Gold Star Mothers. She joined a Tucson Chapter, that is part of a national group that dates back to World War 1. They are mothers morning the loss of children to war.

“It is the unspoken that we don’t have to belabor and so we can just be there together." said Sheron Jones, head of the Tucson Chapter of Gold Star Mothers. "And yet in some ways it's hard because you know that someone else is sharing that void.”

Jones' son, 44 year old Army Staff Sargent Darrel Kasson was killed in Afghanistan. She said the Gold Star Mothers is more than a support group, it is a lifeline.

“All of us have lost a child. All of us know that if we are having a bad night or a bad day…we can pick up that phone and call each other if we need to.”

While Jones has come to terms with the loss of her son – at first there was anger.

“When I first found out that Darrel had died – I was very angry at the military. My first thought was 'why are we there anyways?' And then as I got to meet some of the guys were under him and they sat and talked to me and they said 'we are there because we want people to know that their freedom does come at a cost. And no we don’t want to die, but we are defending our country.'”

For Maria Marin there was also anger, but that was followed by a deep sense of pride and a commitment to keep going.

“For me personally, I would dishonor my son if I didn’t do anything less, if I didn’t get up every morning and face the day the way he did when he got off of that helicopter as the lead man of 14 men. He saved 12 lives. He will be receiving a silver star next month, the Silver Star of Valor. And when I feel weak, and empty, I think about him and I know that he got off that. I read the investigative reports and I could here his voice as he was talking back and forth to the guys and how he held them back and he stepped off of that Black Hawk and he gave that command you wait, you hold back until you see that you have clearance and he knew and he stepped off.

Marin’s pain turned to pride, then to advocacy, and not just for her fellow Gold Star Mothers who have lost sons and daughters – but also to those families who can still hold their loved ones:

“And so I would say to all parents, step forth with courage. All of the people who live in this nation if we want to maintain this great country, we need to step forth with courage. We can be afraid, but that shouldn’t stop us from stepping forward and taking care of each other to maintain the greatness of this country."